So I was going to title this blog, "so you know" but I thought the above was better. I want to slap myself around a bit, because I have so much that has been given to me. Why on earth am I depressed? I should be happy. Truth be told, I am coming around a bit. It's probably the medicine (ha), but i know it's the prayers too. I didn't want to tell anyone, including John about how I have been feeling the last 3 months. But I am so glad I did, because now my family and friends can pray for me and understand me. John says I have been much more calmer. He joked and said I haven't gotten mad at him for little stupid stuff! Ha! That right there has to be the effects of modern medicine. But on a serious note, I feel I am gaining a connection to my Gavin. He smiles at me, coos at me, stares at me, he recognizes ME and my VOICE. But then I get in these moods where I just go into my lala land. If I'm alone for one day or even a couple of minutes, it hits me. I still have trouble sleeping. I know the holidays are gonna drag me out of the house, and I think that is a good thing. But I don't want to. We just went out for my sister's birthday last saturday and I'm glad I went out, but I didn't want to even get dressed. I know these are "normal" feelings. And I am so tired of hearing that. Because there not normal to me. But this past weekend brought it to my attention that I have a great loving family and am so blessed to have them.
3 comments:
I feel like Gavin has a connection to my amazing song writing abilities. Tyler likes to connect his 2 year old knees to my face. I love my nephews.
It is fun when we all hang out eh?
It happens to the best of us. It's hard to get out of a funk especially one caused by hormones. Glad the regular you is coming back!
We had a blast babysitting. Although I must say, we were beat by the time we got home. Check your camera... I snapped a few shots of uncle Justin with his hands full. (heehee!)
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