Sorry...I joined facebook

So that's why I have neglected you.

Update:
None.

I had an ultrasound done on thursday and the radiology place screwed up my next test (most impotant) thyroid scan with uptake. I'm scheduled for tomorrow at 730 am, or I was scheduled until the canceled me for there own dumb mistake. They decided to work on my paper work at 4pm today (so nice of them, huh?) and decided that they didn't have the auth or requisition form. So they just canceled me.

So needless to say, I am going to show up there tomorrow at 730 am to be "worked in" since they told me I will be on standb y. The girl there told me they would call me, if a patient didn't show or came late. I think I will just save them the phone call and be there in the waiting room.

My symptoms have gotten worse. My heart rate is always over 100 beats a minute, I'm always shaken and trembling, constantly sweating, and always feeling like my heart is going to jump out of my chest. But I guess those don't sound "urgent" enough for some people. Because that's what my doctor ordered last Monday (which is 8 days, not 2 days). Urgent in the medical field means within 2 days...fyi

Whatever.

Update.

I still don't know what to do.

I tried taking the thyroid medicine tapozole 3 times a day and it made me sick. I expressed this to the endocrinologist (maybe he would adjust my dose), and he inturn referred me to a general surgeon. So I'm going with the flow and seeing him on tuesday.

This will all change since I see new doctors in a new medical group effective March 1st. So who knows what will happen.

My goiter seems to be getting harder and I notice it's a little bit bigger...

The Story: Part Two

So I saw my Endocrinologist on Friday, and my diagnosis is....Hyperthyroidism (HT) caused by Grave's Disease. I know, sounds pretty "deathly". I mean, didn't Dr. Grave have the decency to name it something that didn't sound like death?

Grave's Disease isn't as bad as it sounds. There are many causes of HT, Grave's is most common. Common symptom/sign is the protruding eyes...Mine aren't like this because the doc said we caught it in time.

So I have options....
1. Stay on medicine until my thyroid ges back to normal...(months? years?)
2. Do Radio Iodine Therapy...Hulk style
3. Surgery....bye bye thyroid

So, if I stay on medicine, I don't think it will control my Grave's Disease...but my thyroid. So then i would do the radio therapy or surgery. Most likely radio therapy, but have a goiter.

So wouldn't you think to get rid of it, I would have surgery? I'm confused and don't really want to think about it. Most of all, I will need to pray about what will be right for me in the long run. A lot to think about now. But I know God will lead me in the right way.

I am on medicine right now along with a blood pressure medicine since my heart rate is so high. But the blood pressure medicine is only temporary, but the thyroid medicine is permenant until I choose an option.

So pray for me. My symptoms are awful, some days I feel like jumping out of my skin and other days I'm tired and weak. My patience is so thin with my little kiddos and it sucks. People think it's not a big deal to have a thyroid problem since you look normal on the outside. But your thyroid controls so much in your body. Stuff that I didn't know until now.

I will keep all my bloggy blog friends updated, of course as i get them...

The Story

So my doc is on maternity leave and I get stuck with Dr. Frankenstein. Yeh, that's right. But they pronounce it "steen", but after being treated by him, it's the square forehead hands out walking guy...

I was born with a heart murmor-no big deal. So he heard it and informed me. I told him I knew. He then asked me why I didn't tell him. (fair question) I told him every doctor that I have came across lately have not heard it. He understood.

I was telling him my symptoms and he asked where I worked. I dread telling docs I work for one, because they tend to stereotype. (I do) They think you think you know it all. You research everything. (I do--but just to gain knowledge not a hyperchondriac...it's hyperthyroidism =) ) So I told him I wasn't one of "those". He laughed and didn't believe me.

He tells me he thinks I might have an infection "somewhere" in my body and he wants to do some blood work. I asked him he if thought it was my thyroid. He said, "Oh no, your thyroid looks fine." (Mind you he never touched my throat! Just heard my heart...for 10 mintues) "But" he said, "I will check it anyway." Well gee thanks Doctor, because that's what I paid my $25 copay for. For you to assess me and LISTEN to me that I have lost 25 pounds in 2-1/2 months. Not what just you heard. So of course I have no infection in my body, just a whacked out Thyroid.

He wants to see me in a month. I don't care to go, but it would be fun to say I told you so.

FYI...this is coming from someone that works for a doctor. Some people have to manage their own care. Help the doc along. Because sometimes doctors get use to diagnosing one thing and don't really look at the whole picture. I just have a measley thyroid problem, thank God it wasn't my heart or anything else.

What's happening?

Well, lets see.

Got my haircut. Finally. It's been driving me nuts, getting so hot and it's too much work. So I hacked it off and donated it to locks of love.

Speaking of being hot. No, I'm not saying I am, but...Its actually one of my symptoms that I have been experiencing for about 5 months now. The other ones are...trembling hands and legs, weakness, rapid heart beat, sweating, and losing weight. Of course the last one is a nice! I finally found out it is my Thyroid...more on how I found out later.

So, I have a hyperthyroidism. I can't stand a "ism" diagnosis. It makes it sound so bad and real. I go see an Endocrinologist on Friday to find out what he may suggest and to see if I need more blood work. Which I will...again, more on that later.

So I'm thinking if they put me on medicine to control it, I should probably wait until I lose all the weight I want then start the meds!! What do you think?

BTW...just kidding...

maybe...

side note

This applies to all future and past posts. I apologize for any typos, mis=spelled words, bad grammar...and so on. You see I type 55 wpm, may not be right all the time due to the following:

-tyler
-gavin
-above kids running around me while I type
-above kids climbing on me while I type
-one of the above kids crying while I type

There might be more, but I have to tend to one of the above kids right now, as they are doing one of the above things to me right now...oh Lord help me....!

staff christmas party

My office...Gris, Michelle, Dr. Jung, me, Daniel, and our Audiologist, Miriam...

We take these pictures because we do those picture christmas card things. What do you think? If you are a doctor in Riverside County, you will be getting one. If not, you can look at this copy.

My office's family...too many to name...
My family...you know them as, Tyler, Gavin, John, and me...

Not much to write, but had a great time again. The kids were good, the food was okay. Not a big fan of the mission's food, but the atmosphere is great.

Black Friday

This is Friday afternoon in the urgent care before the "not nice ladies hurt me" poked Tyler 3 times. He was so out of it, dozing off and everything. His flu bug started early thanksgiving with vomiting anf diarrhea. It sprung on tyler so quick! He couldn't keep nothing down-including Gatorade. So it continued Friday and thats when I decided to take him to urgent care. Big mistake. They tried 3 times to get an IV, but no luck since his poor little veins were mush from being dehydrated. So they admitted him to Riverside Community.

Poor baby, I never have seen him so sick and I have never been so scared. The scared part is probably due to the nurse at Urgent Care. She so nicely told me that her daughter went through the same thing, but almost died!! Nice...

But obviously he came around. Here he is eating his breakfast. He was so grateful for banana's, rice, dry toast, and applesauce. When they delivered it he said, "thanks you for my shood lady!" He was such a good patient. He was so brave and I am so proud of my little boy.

Only thing now is, that he is VERY apprehensive about going to doctors now. He said on Monday when we were on our way to his pediatrician, "Mommy are the lady gonna poke me?" I told him, "No pokes tyler, I promise." He then inturn said to me (which broke my heart), "the docotrs are not nice to anymore." Poor baby.

Festival of Trees...and SANTA!

Photographer thought it was funny that he was in the picture...as you can see I thought it was hilarious, Gavin-not so much.

I want power rangers...star wars legos...(funny thing is tyler doesn't even like star wars, he just saw it in the ad one day)

Surprised that this actually turned out.

0ops! I thought I flipped this.
Sweet face...don't let him fool you Santa!

So after poor tyler got out of the horsepistol (More on that tomorrow) we decided to take him to go see Santa. We were actually planning on taking him to see Santa on Friday, but being so sick still we went to Urgent Care.

So the whole time we were at Urgent Care and not seeing Santa, poor tyler was being poked and tortured by inexperience nurses (who said they do pediatric IV's all the time). But, like I said more on that tomorrow.

...old pics that I never posted

Here are some photos of Gavin that Burgundy took. At 9 months old we did some pictures like these for Tyler. So when Gavin was 9 months I wanted to continue the tradition. Unfortunatle I don't have the one of tyler when he was 9 mths (It's hanging in my mom's front bathroom if you are interested in seeing it)but here are the one's of Gavin...

Funny story I just have to add real quick. When I took off Gavin's diaper right before the photo shoot began, he spotted something he has never seen before. He was quite intregued by this little part between his legs. We actually coudn't get him to focus and look at the camera. But eventually we got his attention with another "toy". But it was hard...

Hmmm...what's this?

Wow! I found something you guys!

This is the prize shot that will sit next to Tyler's.

So, it's not like I am forgetting to blog, it's just that I'm not very important. I'm a very boring person with boring things that I do. Okay?

What a relief!

As tyler got up to use the potty, I sat there at our dining room table as I finished my turkey sandwich. The next thing I heard was, "Ahhhhhhh....what a relief." Yes, tyler thinks it is a relief to go pee...where on earth did he hear that from? Hmm, maybe I should question John, or question what he is watching...

till next time...too bad I don't have a picture of that!

Guess who's back?

Okay, after several of my blog followers request, I'm here. Okay who am I kidding, two people have asked me to blog again. Just a glimpse of what happened in the last 2 months (man I'm bad)...

We got a dog-cocker spaniel and poodle mix-named bailey. We missed kali so much we had to get another doggy. We still miss kali, but it feels good to have a dog again...and boy is miss bailey energetic! Non-stop playing!

All my siblings and I went to our church marriage retreat in Palm Desert at the Esmeralda resort. Beautiful-hot-and we were both sick-yuck! What a way to handle your "business"...
Then Tyler started preschool! I can't believe it...time goes by too quickly. He's almost 4, my goodness! He is in the Pooh Bear class and enjoying it very much. Sometimes he doesn't want to go home when I pick him up!

I had a birthday-woo hoo 28 years old! Moving on....
John had his 31st birthday, he went bunging jumping...we didn't bring our camera...stupid.
Gavin turned 1 with Mickey and friends!
Mmmmmm...cake!
And we just went to Oak Glen last Sunday....
We went camping, but those pictures are ont he camera still....I'll pst those next year! Ha!


See you soon! (I promise)

Sadden...

I don't know where to begin...it was suppose to be her back that we were worried about...she was only 5 years old...how on earth can this happen so quickly...?

Our poor Kali girl has gone to doggie heaven tonight. She has left us and all her discomfort and pain she has been going through lately. Gosh, I can't believe she is really gone...

It all started about 2 weeks ago or so when I noticed she was limping around favoring her left leg. I immediately thought it's her knee (she had prior knee surgery in 2004). After checking in with her vet (the best on earth) it was safe to say it wasn't her knee but they were bringing up that it might be her back. I knew then, that one night in the emergency vet clinic back in 2005 when we first found out about her back problem...it was resurfacing again.

The doctor wanted to start her on muscle relaxers and pain meds twice a day. He also wanted to do a xray of her back, but I wanted to wait since this could pass just like it did in 2005. But he wanted us to check back with him in a 2 days for her progress and then recheck in a week.

By Tuesday her limping was gone, but she still wasn't herself. I had an apointment that day and thats when we did an xray to see how bad her back had worsen since the last xray in 2005. Well it was bad. Poor little Kali had 5 vertebres just bone-to-bone. Her spine was also curving because of the pressure. We talked then at that time reviewing her films that surgery is do-able because of her age. But he also showed me that her liver seemed kinda enlarged, which concerned him. He did say being on steroids for a month could do it (she needed steroids for another health situation she had months prior) but he wanted to make sure everything checked out good, so he took some blood tests.

Wednesday was the day that changed everything. The results showed a high amalayse count of 14000 and normal limits are within 750. Okay that's bad. Liver count was within normal limits. But it didn't stop there. Her white blood count was high as well. It wasn't pancreatitis, doctor added on another test to check that out. So he was baffled as to what is putting off this bad of an infection in her gut. We started her on some heavy duty anitbiotics.

Thursday-no change...she just was getting worse. I had a ray of hope since she would eat and was barking at the things dogs bark at. Jumping out the doggy door wasn't a problem either. I almost brought her in for the vet to see her. In fact they told me to since the night prior I felt a lump on her side. But I just thought maybe we should give the antibiotics a day or so to kick in...

Friday...today. Man kali was a hurt puppy dog. I called he vet and they told me to bring her in and I did. They didn't like that I said her belly was swollen and tight. All my worries and fears came today. The doctor examined her and said she felt a lump, the same lump I felt Wednesday night. She wanted to take another picture to see what is going on here since the tuesday xray just showed an enlarged liver, nothing else.

(This is what I heard)

"Yeh, I have this dog that I'm concerned about and need for you guys to take a look at her tonight..."

"No, I think her constipation and liver problem is secondary to what's going on."

"Yea yea I'm really concered since I felt a mass on physical examination and the new xray shows possibly 2 masses that I don't know where they're coming from."

Doctor comes in my room with her laptop with the images I never wanted to see. So that conversation that I heard right before she came in was to California Vetinary Specialist in Murrieta. She began to show me Kali's xray and tell me that I need to take her to this place in Murrieta because they are the people that can tell me what I'm dealing with and they can do an ultrasound to see if it's operable. RED FLAG!! Whenever anyone tells you if it might not be operable...it will not be operable.

We get to this critical care pet emergency clinic (God sent) and are taken back and told even worse news. You know it's going to be bad when the doctor comes in with her head down and sooner than what she said she would be in.

"Well, we found 3 masses inside her belly...and it's not good."

One tumor is on the spleen and pushing the bowel to oneside and there's another...on the lower part of her liver."

"So she has 2 on her liver and the biggest one is on her spleen, so her cancer has metastisized in her abdomen. What this is called is Hemangiosarcoma of the spleen and has spread everywhere"

"At this point (I thought she was going to say we need to put her down) her abdomen is starting to fill with blood from the spleen"

She began to graciously tell me my 3 options I have. I don't really need to tell you all of them since we all know surgery and chemo were number 1 and 2...and the third, well, you know....

she told us xrays don't always show this cancer and since the spleen is a "lay low" kind of organ it's hard to diagnose it early until it's too late. Ultrasounds are your best bet to discover the cancer. But it is an agressive fast growing cancer.

She gave us the option of taking her home with us tonight and loving on her and giving her a "steak dinner" and take her in tomorrow to, you know. I wanted to do that, but John was right, that wouldn't be healthy for me and there is no way I could willingly say goodbye to kali tomorrow as she goes off to die. And the doctor even siad there might be a possibilty that she might bleed out. Chances were slim, but I couldn't have that happen.

So we are all sadden tonight that our little kali has gone to doggy heaven. She was such a good dog. Such a sweet demeanor and loving to everyone. She would give you kisses until her tongue falled off. She would cuddle with you until the morning and beg for food like she has never ate! We are going to miss her so much, but we were able to be with her and love on her just before she was left us. Her last memory of us, was being in my arms kissing her and saying I love you.

Please vote...AGAIN!

Okay, so I don't know if Gavin won the 2nd round or what...but today is the cutoff day to submit his picture for round 3. If he won, I'll post something tomorrow, if not please vote again!!
So here it goes again....vote for Gavin on 104.3 fm's website. For their beautiful baby contest. Gavin will have a shot at winning $20,000 for a college education...because you know that will only cover books, right?

Anyway, voting starts Wednesday the 6th and last until Sunday the 10th. Go to http://www.1043myfm.com/ and click the top banner where it says..."My beautiful baby contest..." and that will take you to the round 3 galleries and all the rules. BUT if you check the page out today it will only show round 2 galleries still. So PLEASE check back Wednesday (8/6) and vote. I think all you have to do is register your name and email and to vote you will need to have a email account...who doesn't have those...

Here is the picture I submitted for round 3 so you know what beautiful baby you are looking for...

Please vote!

I'm not talking abuot the presidential election either...vote for Gavin on 104.3 fm's website. For their beautiful baby contest. Gavin will have a shot at winning $20,000 for a college education...beause you know that will only cover books, right?

Anyway, voting starts tomorrow the 30th and last until Sunday the 3rd. Go to http://www.1043myfm.com/ and click the top banner where it says..."My beautiful baby contest..." and that will take you to the round 2 galleries and all the rules. BUT if you check the page out today it will only show round 1 galleries still. So PLEASE check back tomorrow (7/30) and vote. I think all you have to do is register your name and email and to vote you will need to have a email account...who doesn't have those...

Here is the picture I submitted so you know what beautiful baby you are looking for...

In case anyone was wondering why I didn't enter tyler my 3 year old...he is too old...but don't worry I entered him another contest!!

See you later Riverside

Well for the weekend that is. I guess there is suppose to be a heat wave this week (same temp as last 2 weeks). John, being the spontaneous husband he is got a hotel in Seal Beach and we are just gonna hang out with the kids, have a bonfire at bolsa chica, surf and just avoid the "heat wave"...

What is wrong with me??

So you guessed it, the HIDA scan results were negative. Well, that's what I make from it. See, that's a problem you have when you work in the medical field. I got my results because I couldn't wait for a call back from my doc. So I took the liberty to get it myself (don't ask) and well it didn't say anything bad. But Monday, I had another attack that sent me home. I called my doctor's office and they said they would give me a call back with my results and to see what the next step was. Well, I'm actually one step ahead of them, but I am still waiting for that call...
So I'm gonna go ahead and diagnose my stomach problems as "gallbladder problems" until I get a call back or something otherwise is diagnosed.

HIDA, HIDA, HIDA, Ho!

Below is what I had done today. It's called a HIDA scan. In non-medical terms, it basically shows if the liver, gallbladder and all those bile ducts work. First I was injected with radioactive "stuff" (I know cool, huh?) and then this machine takes pictures for an hour. So I was able to lay down for an hour...that was the only perk. I shut my eyes and just rested, it was nice...

Anyway, I don't know what the results are yet I will have to call my doctor in a few days to find out. I know this sounds crazy, but I hope they found something on this scan today. I have had an xray of my gallbladder, a ultrasound of my gallbladder, barium swallow, and now this. I do have pain in my stomach, I really do. I feel like these doctors are suspecting that I may be making these things up. But I'm not and really wish I was. It's an awful gnawing pain which brings nausea and vomiting with it. It seems like I have been having more attacks lately in the past 6 months. I just hope someone finds a answer for me.

Extreme crying

Just when you think your life is so horrible and you have nothing...watching a show like extreme makeover makes you appreciate what you have and forget about what you want.

I just got done watching last sunday's show (takes a week to watch my tivo's shows sometimes) and bawled my eyes out. The family that they were helping lost both their mom and dad and now leave with their aunt (mom's sis), with their aunts kids. Their dad was killed in a car accident maybe 5 years ago. And then after ttheir mom stated dating again, found a guy that turned out to be phsyco when she dumped him and started stalking her and her kids. Well unfortunately he shot and killed the mom and her boyfriend in the middle of the night. The boyfriend would stay over to protect them and make sure nothing would happen. Well, the impossible happened. To make it even worse. The oldest daughter was sleeping right by her mom when it happened. AND she was also in the car with her dad when they got in a accident. So this poor 13 year (age she is now) has seen both her parents die. How awful! Anyway, now they are living with their aunt and unlce and their kids. They are truely blessed with great family and now a beautiful home where they can all enjoy.

I love this show...pass me the kleenex...

Just saying...

For those of "you" out there lurking behind every corner, every booth, every aisle...stop and listen to what I have to say.

I'm a mom of two. I wouldn't trade being a mom to tyler and gavin for anything in the world. I have my "calgon take me away" days and I have my "kids are the best" days. Today was the calgon day. I had an appointment to see my doctor and I took my two kiddos with me. Honestly I was like, "I can do this, gavin will sleep in the back and tyler will get out when I'm in the room (double stroller). I brought books, crayons, hot wheels, dum-dum's, you name it I was prepared. You would think this would be my first adventure out of the house with two kids. It didn't go as planned.

First of all I wanted to park in the back so tyler wouldn't see the fountain that is right in front of Riverside Medical Clinic. I succeded on that part- yes! Then we strolled on by his floor that he is use to, pediatrics. And of course he remembers that he gets to play with the neat little toys. This is where it began..."Mama, I wanna play toys" I told him he can when we go upstairs. I tried to sidetrack him and telling him can push the buttons on the elevator. Yea the elevator!! Tyler loves the elevator. So he pushes the up arrow and we wait...and we wait...and wiat...then a "friendly" nurse comes over and tells me, "You're not gonna go anywhere if you don't push a button my dear." I quickly pray to my God in heaven to put a zipper on my mouth and say, "I know how it works and I pushed it." Nurse friendly says,"the light wasn't on, the button has to be lite." (she starts to push it...keeps pushing it since it doesn't light up on her) I say, "obviously there is a probl;em with the button, eh?" It lights up right then. "No, it works fine", she says. I pray some more...

We get in and Nurse pain in my butt presses 2. I need 3 and so does this nice older gentlemen and his son. The older gentlemen says, "3 please?" and goes to push it, since nurse pain in my butt is ignoring him. She quickly slaps his hand (no just kidding). She says,"No, we have to wait until we get to floor 2 then you can push it." I roll my eyes since I'm behind her. The older gentlemen just stands there and his son gives her a look because she can't see him either. 2nd floor comes and she gets off. And we all say something as soon as those doors close. I laugh and say, "didn't know these things come with instruction, maybe they should invest in a bell hop!" they laugh and the son says he won't say what he really wants to say since I have two kids in the elevator...yikes!

So I stroll on over to check in and tyler is still saying he wants to play toys over and over and over and over and you get my drift. I get embarrassed since people are staring. It's like no one on earth has ever had a 3 year old, I'm the only one. Everyone else's kid just miracously skips 2-4 years of age and is perfect. So I tell him in a minute (like he understands that) and he quits. Yes, silence. I pay my ridiculous copay and then he asks, "mama are you done yet?" "Yes tyler I am." Then I'm sure you can imagine what he asks me then...

I stroll on to the back of the room so I won't annoy everybody. If I was mean, I would sit right in the middle of the crowd, but I'm sweet as apple pie. I sit down and start to fill out my paper work. Tyler is just getting into playing with his cars. Then I hear, "Jaime Cram?" I stand up and smile and tell tyler to come on. He follows fine, but the whole way he is saying, you guessed it! I wanna play cars I wanna play cars I wanna play cars....

We get back to the little vital station where they do their 5 check point service thingy. I'm telling tyler to stop asking me. He keeps on asking me. I tell him if he continues I am gonna take him to the "bathroom" (he knows what that means). He says, "I don't wanna a spakin". I tell him, "then stop". The nurse puts on the blood pressure cuff and takes my tempurature. 98.5-perfect. 138/75. "WHAT? It's never that high. why is it high?" (like she really knows that answer) In between asking her that stupid question, I told tyler to stop 3 times. She laughed and said I might be a little stressed. Uh, yea I guess.

Anyway, tyler was fine inside the room while I saw the doctor. We go down the hardest working elevator in Riverside and go to leave the building. But right before I could leave of course Tyler had to start saying, "mama, I wanna play cars. I wanna play cars." And I tell him, "You can tyler when we get home, so stop asking me." He says, "But-I-wanna-play-cars-" AND THEN I just had to hear "Oh my goodness". I stopped and turned around to see where this comment was spewed and saw this--girl sitting in the corner staring at me and my kids and is obviously the culprit of her crime. Yea, it's a crime to judge a mom if you haven't done it yet. Teeny boppers! Ugh! So I didn't say anything, but I gave ger the dirtyest uglyest face my face could give her. She received it and quickly smiled. I felt better.

I mean tyler is 3. He has his moments and today was not even half of his moments. I feel for moms when I see them in public struggling with their kids. You just never know what that mom is going through or what kind of day she is having or worse, what the kid is going through. You don't know if that kid has a illness or has a behaviorial problem or if the mom is having a poopy day. So don't judge, don't be quick to spew your rude comments aloud because you too will someday be there and you will remember my dirtyest uglyest face that I gave you...just saying...




I'm just saying...