Sadden...

I don't know where to begin...it was suppose to be her back that we were worried about...she was only 5 years old...how on earth can this happen so quickly...?

Our poor Kali girl has gone to doggie heaven tonight. She has left us and all her discomfort and pain she has been going through lately. Gosh, I can't believe she is really gone...

It all started about 2 weeks ago or so when I noticed she was limping around favoring her left leg. I immediately thought it's her knee (she had prior knee surgery in 2004). After checking in with her vet (the best on earth) it was safe to say it wasn't her knee but they were bringing up that it might be her back. I knew then, that one night in the emergency vet clinic back in 2005 when we first found out about her back problem...it was resurfacing again.

The doctor wanted to start her on muscle relaxers and pain meds twice a day. He also wanted to do a xray of her back, but I wanted to wait since this could pass just like it did in 2005. But he wanted us to check back with him in a 2 days for her progress and then recheck in a week.

By Tuesday her limping was gone, but she still wasn't herself. I had an apointment that day and thats when we did an xray to see how bad her back had worsen since the last xray in 2005. Well it was bad. Poor little Kali had 5 vertebres just bone-to-bone. Her spine was also curving because of the pressure. We talked then at that time reviewing her films that surgery is do-able because of her age. But he also showed me that her liver seemed kinda enlarged, which concerned him. He did say being on steroids for a month could do it (she needed steroids for another health situation she had months prior) but he wanted to make sure everything checked out good, so he took some blood tests.

Wednesday was the day that changed everything. The results showed a high amalayse count of 14000 and normal limits are within 750. Okay that's bad. Liver count was within normal limits. But it didn't stop there. Her white blood count was high as well. It wasn't pancreatitis, doctor added on another test to check that out. So he was baffled as to what is putting off this bad of an infection in her gut. We started her on some heavy duty anitbiotics.

Thursday-no change...she just was getting worse. I had a ray of hope since she would eat and was barking at the things dogs bark at. Jumping out the doggy door wasn't a problem either. I almost brought her in for the vet to see her. In fact they told me to since the night prior I felt a lump on her side. But I just thought maybe we should give the antibiotics a day or so to kick in...

Friday...today. Man kali was a hurt puppy dog. I called he vet and they told me to bring her in and I did. They didn't like that I said her belly was swollen and tight. All my worries and fears came today. The doctor examined her and said she felt a lump, the same lump I felt Wednesday night. She wanted to take another picture to see what is going on here since the tuesday xray just showed an enlarged liver, nothing else.

(This is what I heard)

"Yeh, I have this dog that I'm concerned about and need for you guys to take a look at her tonight..."

"No, I think her constipation and liver problem is secondary to what's going on."

"Yea yea I'm really concered since I felt a mass on physical examination and the new xray shows possibly 2 masses that I don't know where they're coming from."

Doctor comes in my room with her laptop with the images I never wanted to see. So that conversation that I heard right before she came in was to California Vetinary Specialist in Murrieta. She began to show me Kali's xray and tell me that I need to take her to this place in Murrieta because they are the people that can tell me what I'm dealing with and they can do an ultrasound to see if it's operable. RED FLAG!! Whenever anyone tells you if it might not be operable...it will not be operable.

We get to this critical care pet emergency clinic (God sent) and are taken back and told even worse news. You know it's going to be bad when the doctor comes in with her head down and sooner than what she said she would be in.

"Well, we found 3 masses inside her belly...and it's not good."

One tumor is on the spleen and pushing the bowel to oneside and there's another...on the lower part of her liver."

"So she has 2 on her liver and the biggest one is on her spleen, so her cancer has metastisized in her abdomen. What this is called is Hemangiosarcoma of the spleen and has spread everywhere"

"At this point (I thought she was going to say we need to put her down) her abdomen is starting to fill with blood from the spleen"

She began to graciously tell me my 3 options I have. I don't really need to tell you all of them since we all know surgery and chemo were number 1 and 2...and the third, well, you know....

she told us xrays don't always show this cancer and since the spleen is a "lay low" kind of organ it's hard to diagnose it early until it's too late. Ultrasounds are your best bet to discover the cancer. But it is an agressive fast growing cancer.

She gave us the option of taking her home with us tonight and loving on her and giving her a "steak dinner" and take her in tomorrow to, you know. I wanted to do that, but John was right, that wouldn't be healthy for me and there is no way I could willingly say goodbye to kali tomorrow as she goes off to die. And the doctor even siad there might be a possibilty that she might bleed out. Chances were slim, but I couldn't have that happen.

So we are all sadden tonight that our little kali has gone to doggy heaven. She was such a good dog. Such a sweet demeanor and loving to everyone. She would give you kisses until her tongue falled off. She would cuddle with you until the morning and beg for food like she has never ate! We are going to miss her so much, but we were able to be with her and love on her just before she was left us. Her last memory of us, was being in my arms kissing her and saying I love you.